It's The Money

With apologies to Randy Newman

Can't grip with my fingers
Can't stand on my feet
My backbone's all twisted
Can't take care of me
Food or medication?
It's gettin' hard to breathe

It's money that I love
It's money that I love

Got a ruby studded wheelchair
Crutches wrapped in gold leaf
Oxygen tank full of baby's breath
Cognac for pain-relief
Even got a wrist that itches
From its diamond twine stitches

It's money that I love
It's money that I love 

Children call me retard
The papers want me dead
Ditto the politicians
And the chemicals in my head
Whole country gettin' mean
Still gotta chase that green

And I'm dying for the money
I'm dying can't you see
It's the money that I love
The world envies me